Slow is Smooth
Years ago, I was in a new therapists office (she moved after I saw her only three times). She was young and had an exotic dancers name as her actual name. She was carefree and easy-going, and her office made it clear that she was a free spirit. I wasn’t too sure about her, but I needed help and she was referred by a friend so there I was pouring my heart out in her bohemian style office complete with feathers and beads.
It was while I was introducing myself and telling her my story that she interrupted me and completely offended me, all at once. “I know you,” she said, giving me kind of a know-it-all look. “Or I know your type,” she continued. I sat there for a minute, not sure how to take this. I’m a type? I thought my story was pretty unique. “Let me guess,” she ventured, almost asking a question but continuing without an answer from me, “You’re a busy body. Go, go, go. You’re always doing something for someone else, and then crying because you have no time to yourself. The truth is, you value yourself by how much you can get done." Now she was nodding her head to herself, "You’re definitely in the get stuff done club.” She did not use the word stuff.
Over time, I came to really like her, even though we only spent three hours together. She was smart and didn’t mince words. Cutting right to the heart of every matter I brought to her, she was usually dead on in her assessments. As a matter of fact, there are several things that she said that I still repeat often:
Families are complicated / Marriage is complicated / No one is going to answer your questions for you, you have to take the journey for it to mean anything / Once you really take control of your life you stop just being a passenger / You got in when the water was cold /
and of course, the one above: You value yourself by how much you can get done.
How was it that this stranger (albeit one I was paying to help me figure things out) knew more about me in 30 minutes then I could conclude in a lifetime? I was exhausted. I was saying yes to everything. I was volunteering in all of my children’s classrooms. I was working almost full-time. I was keeping the house immaculately clean. I was serving the homeless regularly. My days were spent going. I was waking at 5:30 and running before the kids got up and I really never stopped running. But dangit, I was GETTING STUFF DONE.
Around the same time, I learned a new saying from a friend: Slow is smooth and smooth is fast. It’s an old Navy SEAL team saying about the benefits of taking your time. It’s a reminder that the best way to move forward quickly, is by taking your time and getting it right. When you slow down, take a breath, think about what’s happening and what all of your options are before acting, you move through the obstacles of life much more smoothly.
The best way to increase efficiency, is to slow down. Slowing down helps you flow with emotional balance and avoid the dreaded and exhausting BURN OUT we all go through.
I have learned not to fight the currents I am facing. I caused a lot of waves in my younger days thrashing about fighting my way through rough waters. These days, I try to slow down, assess my options, say a prayer and align my heart with God, before moving forward with confidence that I am doing my best at trying to get it right the first time. I waste less time. I offend less people. I take more time for myself. I pray more. I love more deeply. I am learning lessons the first time instead of the 10th time. I read more books. I sing louder and laugh more. I clean less, and when I do clean I am usually blaring 80s music in my ear buds and dancing while I scrub. I no longer value myself by how much I am getting done, but the condition of my heart and soul.
This Fourth of July, I am suggesting we take a lesson from the Navy SEALS and slow down, take our time, think it through, pray about it, then get it right the first time.
