We just had Valentine’s Day last weekend and it has left me thinking a lot about Charity. I have always picked gospel topics and studied and researched them thoroughly so that I can understand them and live them better. I spent almost 10 years on charity. The truth is, I am still studying it. The first thing that I did, was to write down in my journal all of the scriptures with a command to love, then I continued with all of the scriptures that mention the word love or charity. I searched them for commonality and meaning. I found that to love is not only a commandment, but it is absolutely essential for our growth to learn how to love while we are here. Because God and the Savior ARE love, to become like them and live with them again, we too must BECOME love, ourselves a living example of it. We may have other strengths, and other gifts, but without love, they lose their value. Without love we cannot get close to the Savior. We reach him through our acts of unconditional love and forgiveness. This is why love is the foundation of everything we are taught in his gospel and on it “hang all the law and the prophets” (Matthew 22:40). I have read many books on the subject of love, I have watched movies and videos about love, and I have talked to others about how they love. I have picked apart 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 many times. I looked up the definition for each word describing love in verses 4 through 13 and then categorized them by what charity is and what charity is not, putting the meanings in my own words:

Charity is…

the very best in us / so patient that it endures lasting offense / generous and considerate / grateful for the blessings of others / inclusive / assuming best intentions / doing hard things for love / having faith in others / seeing what others are capable of becoming / consistent / understanding, with open arms / forgiving / tolerant, calm, soothing / sympathetic / merciful

Charity is not…

short-sighted / being blinded by vanity and self / arrogance and pride / jealous / exclusive / critical / impatient / critical / focusing on someone else’s faults / giving up / easily offended / holding a grudge / anger and irritation / pride / acting inappropriately or indecently / compassionate and selfless / selfish

I put the entire chapter into my own words so they made sense to me:

-If I could speak incredible things in many different languages, including the language that the angels speak, but I don’t have charity, my words would just be meaningless sound. Charity is speaking with love.

-If I could have the gift of knowing what would happen in the future, and if I understood every mystery in the universe, and if I could have all knowledge of everything, but I don’t have charity, I have nothing. Charity is the most important thing that I can gain while I am here.

-If I gave everything I owned away to feed the poor, and if I sacrificed my life for others, but I don’t have charity, it’s not worth anything. Charity makes our service meaningful.

-When you have charity you patiently endure, you’re thoughtful; with charity you aren’t jealous, and you don’t use empty words, and you don’t boast. Charity requires great humility.

-When you have charity you are a good example, you are inclusive of everyone, you don’t easily get angry, and you think good things about everyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and assume good intentions. Charity sees the best in everyone.

-When you have charity, you don’t joke about sin, and sin doesn’t make you happy, but you love what’s true and real. Charity is authentic.

-When you have charity, you are able to do hard things, you have faith, you have hope, and you can endure any trial. Charity will help you through anything.

-Charity will never fail to work its miracle, prophecies will end, words will end, knowledge will end. Charity lives on forever.

-We only know very little; we only know a little of what will happen in the future. Charity is realizing that we don’t know everything.

-When Christ comes, we will know all things. Charity helps us prepare the way for his coming.

-When we are children, we talk like children, we think like children, but as we grow up, we don’t talk and think like children anymore. Charity is something we become.

-For now, we only see things as though we are looking through a warped mirror, only sometimes seeing things as they really are. Now I can comprehend very little, but when Christ comes, I will know others the same way that Christ has known me. Charity is the loving others the way Christ loves them.

-We can have faith, hope, and charity, but charity is the most important. Charity is the gospel of Christ.

Many things stood out to me in studying 1 Corinthians 13. One thing that surprised me, was that it is possible to give away everything you own to feed the poor, sacrifice your life, and still not have charity. Charity is more than action; it is thoughts and feelings. Charity is something you are. Paul teaches us that when he says that charity believes and hopes. The most important thing I have not only learned from this chapter, but have come to rely on, is that it is impossible for charity to fail. Love never fails to work some miracle, big or small in our everyday lives when we put it into practice, and when we let it change who we are.

We can count on love to make a difference. I wrote a note to myself in my journal a long time ago and I think of it often, it says, if you are failing at something, add charity. There are other gifts, other talents, but eventually they will not be needed, and we will be left with the love that we have been willing to cultivate and give away.

This is another short excerpt from my upcoming book: he heals the brokenhearted, coming soon! Next week I will share my list of all of the Lord’s promises in the scriptures. It’s extensive and amazing…